Shifting Sands

This is one of my favourite poems, and I thought I would share it with you.  In this world of chaos, they are good words to live by.

Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

We had some bad news yesterday. A friend of a friend of Dad's is the mother of the soldier from Newfoundland who was so recently killed. I feel lucky that my family has no one who is directly involved in the whole mess over in Iraq, but still, when it affects someone you know, it makes you think.

If you pray, say a prayer for her.

If you don't, keep her in your thoughts.

I have to go and buy a sympathy card for a co-worker who lost her 1 week old baby. The baby was born with a very rare disease, in which it's stomach wasn't properly formed. The chemicals used to help it digest it's food causes organs to break down. It had a 1 in 10,000 chance of reaching age 5. It died the other day, in his mother's arms quietly.

This kind of thing makes me so upset and angry. What's the point of being born if you're only going to live 1 week, and all you're going to know is misrey and pain. What the hell's the point behind any of that?!

Today is a yukky day. Rainy, kinda cold, grey. Bleah. Work is going kind of good, though. We've having a kid's thing this saturday, called Fall Colours. I've got the crafts all picked out, and I'll get the supplies Wednesday night, after I pre-order the cookies for them. We used to just sort of give them something to do, but I'm trying to actually TEACH them something. I mean, we're a museum, we're not a daycare. So I'll explain, simply, about WHY leaves change color and all that. Then we have the Senior's night coming up on Oct 11. I always like that. The Seniors here just love to get out and have fun, and let me tell you, they love to party! Some of them have more energy than I do! We're getting the Burin Heritage Dancers to come in, (a local entertainment group that's got to be seen to be believed). We get a local caterer to cater it, and generally it's all fun. It's just one of the many things about this job I love.

I really had fun this year, filling in for a co-worker. I don't know if he'll be back next year or not - he mentioned something about getting some more education, so I might get another year here yet, and I'm hoping I do! Parts of it are hard - there's been a little bit of trouble with a co-worker, but other than that it's all been really good. We should be getting some schools in soon, that's fun too.

Anyway, time for me to go.

Well, The Hurricane passed over us, and did a minimum amount of damage. We lost some really big branches on our trees, but that's about it. My workplace lost a lot of the siding, and a huge vent in the side of the building, but considering how things could have gone, it went well. No one died. A house in Francois was torn in two, though, but the community is pulling together and they've already set up a trust fund to help these people get back on their feet. You gonna hand it to us Newfoundlanders, when one of us is in trouble, we all come to the rescue.

I've decided I'm going to start Cross Country Skiing this winter. There's a nearby park that people walk in year round, but the walking trail is pretty beat down. The main gravel road, however, doesn't get cleared or walked on, as the snow gets too thick in most places, so it should be pretty good. It's only about a 7 min drive from my house. And if worst comes to worst, I'll use the ATV trails around my hometown and wear really bright red scarves and things so I don't get run over. ^_^

I'm growing out my nails, or rather, I'm TRYING to grow out my nails. In general I don't like long nails, but I'm so un-feminine that I think I need all the help I can get. So I'm giving it a go. The funny thing is that now when I type I'm hitting all the wrong keys and typing things like kik instead of lol and so on. My friends think I'm drunk or something, heh.

There's only about 5 weeks of work left here. I'm hoping I can find something over the winter, or else I'll have to go on EI again. People have this insane theory that Newfoundlanders go on EI because we don't like work. That's crazy. We go on EI because we HAVE no work except for seasonal tourist things. Trust me, if I could work in my museum year round, I would LOVE to. But unless you're some big oil official, or a member of the government, you're not going to have year-round work around here. And we can't all go to Alberta to work. Some of us have committments here.

Our little dog, Spike, is really causing trouble at home. I wish there was a local dog trainer or obedience school here. This is the first dog we ever had that gave us so much trouble, and he's our fifth. I've never seen a dog that just doesn't CARE if you're dissapointed in him for doing something wrong, or if you praise him for doing something right. If he didn't bark when the Squirrel outside acted up, I'd think he was deaf. He doesn't listen. At ALL. You can call him until you're blue in the face, and when you go over and grab him up, he looks at you like, "Huh? Did you want me?" Although I'm ashamed to admit it, I even lost my temper with him once for chewing up the couch after repeated "No!" and spraying him with water, and slapped his ass. And he just bounced right back and started again. And while I didn't hit him hard enough to cause pain, it SHOULD have made him realize I'm serious. I'm at my wit's end, and have no idea what to do. The next time a dog trainer comes out, we are so there, because my mother is starting to talk (however loosely) of giving him away, and I'm really pissed at her. Part of it is her own fault. We have this huge yard all fenced in, lots of shade, soft grass, and I tell her when the dog is acting up and driving her crazy, to put him outdoors and close the doggy door, and let him do doggy-things, and give yourself a break. But she can't do that, because the pooor doggy is all alone out there and he might be sad. Yeah. And giving him away won't make him sad? Sometimes I want to shake her, I swear to God. If he doesn't start behaving, and we've tried everything, even doing the "doogy" thing of growling at him, pinning him the way an alpha dog would, and nothing, then I fear I'm going to have to go buy one of those collars that shocks them, and I swore I would never have to resort to one of those. Now I'm starting to think it's the last chance for him.

*Sigh*

Anyway, that's my rant for today. I'm really getting stressed lately, and I'll be so glad when my friend Cassie gets back online. Now if there were just some way we could all play DnD over the computer, I'd be a happy camper!

*CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES* Because she wants to play DnD with Clockwork! *Whaaaaaaa!* I love DnD. Tabletop DnD beats the crap out of ANY computer version.

Good God! Florence is coming, and she's angry! My part of Newfoundland is expecting 100+ mm of rain, and winds of 80-90 km/h with gusts of over 120! Here's to hoping we don't vanish!

So....a friend saw this somewhere and threated to whip me with wet limp noodles unless I posted it here. I don't usually do this, but I'm afraid of limp noodles.

My work at the Museum has taken an interesting turn. The local Royal Canadian Legion has donated a large amount of artifacts to us, and yours truly has been given the chance to create my own exhibit! I was going over some of the things today, and they're truly amazing, especially if you're an old history/military buff like I am. Most of the war service(but not all) deals with the Merchant Marines, the local Skippers who entered the war in times of need to travel in the Convoys from Nova Scotia to England, carrying badly needed supplies to the soldiers. Some of the local Captains entered the military proper, serving as fighter pilots and grunts on the front line. There are Navy uniforms, R.A.F. flying books, combat glasses, gun repair/cleaning kits, as well as various medals and dog tags. There are steel combat helmets, canteens, and real Navy Artillary Shells (emptied of gun powder, of course). Man, you don't realize how freakin' huge those things were until you pick one up and hold it in your hand.
Anyway, we're hoping to have the whole thing ready for Canada Day. I'm going to enjoy this!

So. If you're from Newfoundland, like I am, you probably know all about "The Hag". The Hag is a term given to a type of sleep paralysis that certain families suffer, in which they are asleep, and then they suddenly wake up, unable to move, unable to cry out. They have trouble breathing, and they suddenly become aware of this horrible old woman, "The Hag", perched on their chest, watching as they suffocate. They cannot escape, they cannot find relief, until the old woman fades away, and you wake up, able to move and breathe again. This is not a wives' tale, this really happens. As in, you really THINK there is an old woman perched on your chest, watching you. A long time ago, people thought the woman herself was real, but now it's accepted it's a type of sleep paralysis. While they're in the grip of the paralysis, however, you think it's real, so you can imagine the horror experienced.

Why am I writing about this?

Well, luckily, I personally have never experienced The Hag, but I DO suffer from another type of sleep trouble known as "Lucid Dreaming". What this means is that I can be asleep, and my eyes will open, and my brain will start to register what I am seeing. My dreams will turn in that direction. I can sleepwalk. However, while I am sleepwalking, I can see things around me very clearly, I can manipulate things, as in open doors, pick up objects, so on and so forth. Luckily, I have not had one of these experiences in years. But I DO remember being a very small child, sharing a bed with my sister, and having a lucid dream. According to my sister, I sat up and started picking up "things" from the bed, and saying something about taking them to the police. I still remember what I was seeing: knives and things lying on the bed. And no, I have no secret desire to kill my sister. ^_^

As I got older, these lucid dreams became more and more real. I can remember waking up once, seeing my bedroom, and for some unknown reason I was under the impression that I was in SOMEONE ELSE'S bedroom, and I had to get the hell out before they came back and found a stranger in their bed. I was completely dressed and halfway out the door before I woke up. Another time I lay in bed watching people gather in my bedroom mirror and wonder who I was. Even as a child I saw things in my mirror when in these sleep stages, so for the longest time I slept with my bedroom mirror covered. I wonder what my family thought. I remember lying in my bedroom in the dorm, and watching this giant crystal spider climb up the side of my closet. It was actually pretty, sort of sparkly, and despite the fact that seeing a real spider that size would send me screaming into the hallway, by this time I was aware that the odd things I saw weren't real, and now I can sort of enjoy them. Sort of. The crystal spider just gently faded out as I woke up.

Why I am still going on about all this, and why I started with The Hag, is because for a while now I've been doing a little research on this subject. I wondered if other people or cultures had a similar thing to The Hag of Newfoundland, and to my surprise, there are a lot of them. And they all involve sleep paralysis, and for lack of a better word, visions.

England has it's succubus and incubus that sexually preyed on the sleepers. In early Judeo-Christian religions there were "fallen angels" and "demons". In a lot of cases, it's Adam's first wife, Lillith.

Some of the earliest recorded cases, Herodotus makes an account of just such a spirit that appears to the wife of King Ariston of Sparta.

In the West Indies, the spirit that sits upon the chest and suffocates the victim suffering from paralysis is the spirit of a dead baby, known as a Kokma. This is a baby who has died in the area and attacks people in their beds, clutching at their throats. I find this image much more horrifying than even an old woman. In Ireland, it's similar, but the babies are unbaptized infants who have died.

In Thailand it's called Phi um (ghost covered), which again involves the paralysis, suffocation, and the image of something huge and black covering the body.

In Korea it's ka wi nulita (scissors pressed).

In the Far North one speaks of agumangia (Inupik) or ukomiarik (Yupik) in which "a soul" tries to take possession of the paralyzed victim.

In Laos, it's called da chor, and is described as follows: "You want to listen, you can’t hear; you want to speak, you are dumb; you want to call out, you cannot; you feel you are dying, dying; you want to run away. You piss with fear in your sleep".

In Japan, it's Kanashibari, meaning "Bound with Iron". Now this one is interesting, because like in Newfoundland, an old woman is associated with this condition, and is also considered a spirit. However, this old woman stands at the foot of the bed and glares at the victim, strangling them by her will alone.

In Zanzibar, it's called the Popobawa, and is a tall, one-eyed, horned, hairy beast who sits on you, and as far as I can tell, prepares to devour you alive while you watch on.

There has even been the suggestion that modern-day UFO abduction "memories" are just modern-day sleep paralysis events. They are most common in the United States. Maybe this is their cultural addition to this bizarre condition.

Either way, it's fascinating to see how similar they all are.

Humanity. United in fears and dreams.